Monday, 19 April 2010

June 12th 5047 BC - 10:18

This morning at the break of our night's fast I had a chance to see our new guests under less wet conditions (although she looked pretty fine with her wet dress clinging to her ample woman's chest!). Her given name is Sarah, but I don't remember his name... John or something. Not important. It turns out that we were neighbours back before the flood, but for some reason we'd never seen each other. Strange, as they only lived about 8 miles away from us. I had lots of questions for them, such as what she liked to eat, what time of the year she was born in, and so on, but their questions seemed a little more important. For example, why did we have such a big boat, and why did we have so many animals with us? I said "because God told us to do it as he intended to flood the world and kill everyone because there was so much bad in all people although in his infinite wisdom and omnipotence he spared me and my family." Sarah and wotsisname looked horrified. My wife swiftly kicked me under the table, and I realised why. I quickly said "Just kidding! Ha ha ha! Well, to be honest we like animals a lot, and we decided that they needed a nice holiday... a chance to see the world. We needed such a big boat because there were so many animals. It was a good thing too, what with this rainstorm being so bad and flooding everywhere!" Thankfully our guests gave a sigh of relief, although how they believed my cover story I have no idea.

On a separate note, Shem's wife is no better at cooking than Ham's wife! She manages to burn everything, and she seems to have no idea how to bake bread! I told her that she has to let it rise before cooking it - it's not like we're in a hurry or anything - but she said she likes it flat. She must be the only person in the world who does! Nevertheless, I will ask Sarah if she can cook. After all, she and wotsisname must earn their keep on our boat. Speaking of which, I could probably get him to do something with all the animal mess - it's really out of control now!

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