Wednesday, 31 March 2010

May 27th 5047 BC - 19:48

I'm not sure as to the wisdom of bringing flies and mosquitoes on board. Sleeping is almost impossible with those damn mosquitos constantly buzzing in my ears! The flies get everywhere, including in our food. I reckon that thousands of years from now people will remember the name 'Noah' every time a fly lands in their soup! The animal mess is the biggest problem though - the flies are all over it! I really must think of a way to get rid of it all. I guess I can just dump it over the side... anywhere is fine, just as long as it's nowhere near where we will end up.

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

May 26th 5047 BC - 11:03

Getting tired of eating fish for every meal, and frankly I feel I’m not alone. There have been many a hungry look at the cows and pigs lately, and it's a bit worrying. There must be some animals - maybe the ones that aren't so cute - that we can eat. I mean, who will know?! On the subject of eating, I can't think why on Earth my wife brought so many olives with for the journey. "A handy snack" she said, but I'm getting quite sick of them! If I never see another olive tree again it will be too soon! I don't know where we'll end up, but I really hope there are no olive trees and very little rain!

Monday, 29 March 2010

May 25th 5047 BC - 12:53

With all the rush to get this ship built and the animals on board, I've had little time to contemplate what it all means in the grand scheme of things. I've also had little time to organise cleaning up all the animals mess. Must do something about that! With hindsight it would have been nice to have had a bit more warning about this flood, and enough time to make this ship just a bit more... comfortable. It's all well and good having a place for each and every pair of beasts, and space for all their foods, and designing it so that they don't eat each other, but it would have been nice if God had included some recreational facilities for us humans. I'm fed up with playing 'I-Spy' every day. Personally I wouldn't know one type of kangaroo from another! I said to my wife that I'm a farmer, not a zoologist, and she said "Then why you got the job God only knows!"

Sunday, 28 March 2010

May 24th 5047 BC - 08:22

Shem's wife is sulking after I said she was crazy for bringing two of each different species of fish on board. Shem started shouting at me for upsetting his wife, and in the heat of things I accidentally trod on a spider. I cleaned up the mess, and so far no-one has noticed its absence. Personally I don't think anyone will miss it - it's not as if there's a shortage of spiders in the world. Still not sure what to do with the other one though...

Saturday, 27 March 2010

May 23rd 3047 BC - 07:52

Would you Adam and Eve it, it's still bloody raining! God only knows how much longer it's going to continue. Morale is running pretty low, and many of the animals are sick. You'd think with all the people on board someone would have some basic knowledge of anteater physiology. The female unicorn is very sick indeed, and I'm not sure she'll pull through. The roof is leaking badly and most of us have a cold - those who don't will catch it soon enough. We ran out of cloth rags days ago, so now we're having to wipe our noses on the rabbits.